I have never thought of myself as an organized person that is able to get things done timely. Usually I would wait until nearly the last minute to get things done. However, I’ve learned that I am not only organized and able to get things knocked off to-do lists quickly (and efficiently I think), in planning my wedding I’ve also discovered that I am a type-A person who has to have things my way.
Like most girls I thought about my wedding in the abstract prior to having a boyfriend and even during. I didn't, however, really plan things out in a detailed way. Part of that was because I didn’t want to jinx getting engaged and also because I didn’t know exactly what I would need to do and didn’t want to disappoint myself when the actual event came. I got engaged on November 23, 2013, had my dress picked out and purchased a week later, and organized just about everything within 3 months. Part of this was because our wedding is on and therefore there isn’t a lot of time to spare, but even when we thought we were going to get married in December 2014 I got right on the planning and prepping for the wedding. I want everything to be planned and organized as soon as possible.
Planning this wedding has not been easy, at least when it has come to the stress it has caused for me and between Thomas and I. Most of the arguments we’ve had over the past couple of months have been because of my inability to deal with things not going the way I imagined them. I can’t imagine what I would be like if I had pre-planned my wedding as a teenager or single adult.
What this has taught Thomas and I is that we need to learn to compromise, something we haven’t really had to do in the past. Thomas says that’s because I was much more accepting of what he wanted to do before we got engaged. I’m not sure if that’s true or not.
I’ve written a general description of my wedding planning in a previous post, but I want to touch on the compromises here. One of the big arguments we had that resulted in a lot of yelling and crying (on my part) was due to tacos. Yes, you read that right – tacos. Our wedding reception will be in his parents’ backyard and will be catered by Stone Fire Grill (a delicious family-style restaurant). The catering that this place does is amazing and they are very inexpensive. But they don’t do appetizers (or wedding cakes, but more on that later). Thomas, myself, our parents, and our wedding party will be staying past the ceremony to have pictures taken in front of the church. At this point guests will head over to the reception site. Apparently it is good manners to feed appetizers to guests for them to nibble on while enjoying alcoholic drinks. Enter the taco dilemma.
Thomas mentioned he wanted a taco truck for the wedding as a side comment one day. While I would not allow that us our main meal (I wanted the wedding to be formal, but because of budget limitations the location makes it a bit less than formal) I thought that it would be good as an appetizer while Thomas and I and the wedding party are still at the church. A co-worker provided me with the contact information for a guy who has a taco truck and who also does rentals for weddings (tables/table clothes/etc). I talked to him and we had worked out a deal that included 250 tacos, 50 quesadillas and then the rentals. Sometime after I had talked to the taco guy, I was going over the wedding planning with Thomas and his mom. Thomas said that 250 tacos were not enough for our guests (which will be probably around 60 for the appetizer time, since many will remain at the church for pictures). He wanted 400 tacos, the rice and beans, quesadillas along with chips and salsa.
The extra tacos meant an extra $200. While Thomas thought of this as “just $200” I thought of it as “we don’t have another $200 to spend on tacos!”. We ended up compromising after a lot of arguments and tears. We will have 400 tacos as well as chips and salsa. There will be no beans or rice due to how messy they are to eat. The chips and salsa will be on the serving table and not on individual tables. This way each person will have to put their chips and salsa on their plates when getting their tacos. He will also provide the divided plates for this. Additionally, Thomas’ parents are helping out with the cost which reduced my stress on my budget ($5k for the entire wedding). We also agreed (finally) that the tables with be sectioned off so that people don’t sit at the tables until the formal sitting later on.
There are other issues that are coming up that we will need to work out. Some which I will not budge on my position and others in which I might need to bend. I’ll refrain from talking about them on here for now to avoid creating additional problems.
I do have to say that Thomas is super patient with me and to put up with my emotional needs he is an angel and must truly love me. And I him.