March 23, 2014

Weekend Recap

What a crazy few days. Mostly not good crazy. Mostly panicky, crying, yelling type of crazy. A crazy that I might write up to help me deal with everything that was going through my head in the past few days. 

F R I D A Y / /

Everything was leading up to Friday. Friday was the day that we were supposed to sign away our loan contingency, except we didn't have a loan on Friday by 5pm. This cause me to go like this:

Thomas does not feel the stress like I do and generally just tells me to "calm down, don't stress out, everything will be fine!" I don't typically take well to that advice. 

We were finally officially approved for the loan as of 6:07pm on Friday. Woohoo! We still have to submit more documents that our lender is requesting and sign some other forms, but the big hurdle is over. However, because our realtor is no-good we haven't had a clear answer as to wether we were able to get the contingency removal extended or not. I'm assuming we did since we have not heard that they pulled out of the sale. The lack of communication from our realtor makes me continue to feel like Ms. Swift. 

On the brighter side I did get my new TOMS in the mail on Friday. I had bought some in late November but they came apart in just a couple of months. Luckily Toms guarantees their products so I was given store credit and I ordered a new pair on Wednesday. Now I have these awesome ones:

I had somewhat of a breakdown on Friday night, over Skype, with Thomas. He told me some version of what I mentioned above and it snowballed into saying things, that while true about me to some extent, I do not want to hear all at once from him. It brought up my complete lack of social skills and the fact that my bridesmaids are my nieces because I do not have any girl friends that I could even ask to be in my wedding party. None. (I do have my maid of honor, by sheer luck because she is an amazing, patient human being- I love you Lauren!). 

It was not a pretty picture. I was in massive tears, Nikki was trying to console me... it was just sad to look at. 

S A T U R D A Y / /

Thomas and I are having a limited bar at our wedding reception. I didn't want bar at all - I wanted a bottle (or 2) of champagne for each table for toasts and keep to soda/juice from there on. Thomas vetoed this idea because apparently most of the invitees like to drink. What ended up happening was that his parents decided to pay for the drinks/cups. We do want to keep this inexpensive so we are doing the same thing his sister had at her wedding - a choice of 2 drinks. We needed to decide which drinks we wanted, so on Saturday evening we went to the bar where our bartender works at. I gathered a few recipes for "blue" martini's using blue Curacao. The first 3, while drinkable, were not very tasty. We've made a decision one, though and... I'm mostly happy with it. 

I was buzzed by the time that Thomas asked me a question about the wedding that we had previously discussed which upset me. Probably more than it should have. I do tend to overreact. Thomas is correct in saying that I get upset (overly so) when I don't get what I want. I don't think this is a horrible quality, it makes me strive to get what I want. I just need to learn to handle disappointment better. Definitely something I will need to work on over time. 

However yesterday was not the day I chose to work on it. After coming home (still buzzed) I became a mess. I was still reeling from the discussion he and I had had and there was going to be a meeting of sorts at his house which included his sisters and other family members. I did not want to be involved in the meeting because it is something (what they were going to be discussing) that I am not really interested in. I went straight to Thomas' bedroom. He went out and said his hello's. We talked for a while about what had happened the night before and earlier in the day which just made me spiral downward. It was a long fall down and I feel full fledged into a panic attack. This was only me second panic attack, the first about 18 months ago on a camping trip. On top of what he and I had been discussing I overheard his aunt talking about the bridal shower they are throwing for me and... well, it made me very anxious. Thomas asked me to come out because they wanted to discuss the party (which is in a week) with me, but I couldn't - that threw me over the edge and I couldn't control my breathing. 


Thomas was able to help me come down from it and we were able to watch a movie (Insidious) but the feelings/thoughts are only temporarily pushed down. I can tell. I need to find a way to let it out. Hopefully I will find the time to write it down and post it. I may have to make some posts private and I hope that some of you (or all of you really) will request the password so that someone will read it. There will probably be things I don't want some people to read/know for now. 

S U N D A Y / / 

Nikki is in 4th grade and in California that is when students' study the California Missions. There are 21 Missions here spread from San Francisco down to San Diego. We live close to the San Fernando Mission, but my mom and I decided to take her (for extra credit) to the Mission at San Juan Capistrano. This mission is famous for the swallows which travel from Goya, Argentina to San Juan Capistrano (as well as other areas). My mom adores swallows (golondrinas, in Spanish) so we had to make the 1 1/2 hour drive there. We had a really nice time getting to walk around the grounds. I'll have to make a post dedicated to the trip, but here a couple of pictures:

Nikki standing by what is left of an adobe wall from the late 1700's.

Please ignore my... less than stylish being. In front of Father Serra statue.

In the morning paper there was a Sears ad that had refrigerators at pretty good prices including free delivery. The offer was valid from 6pm until closing so we headed there on our return from the mission. We were all very tired, but if we went home first I knew we wouldn't make it back out of the house (although I later did!). I bought a fridge!!! (Oh, and why is fridge spelled with a 'd' but refrigerator isn't?). It is a french-door fridge and... well, I love it! More on that when I do move and receive it in a few weeks. 

Thomas had been working on his project all day so I hadn't spoken to him, but not long after I got home his sisters invited him and I to go see The Lego Movie. It was super cute, a lot better than I would have thought. I probably would never had otherwise seen the movie. It also helped lift part of the negative cloud I have going on around me. 

If you read all this - thank you. It is only a partial release of my stress, but it has helped. Thank you! 

Linking up with Leeann:

Showered With Design

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  1. toms guarantees their products?? thanks for the tip! one of my shoes is fraying and i was so bummed. not anymore! :)

    Vodka and Soda

  2. I have the same issue... I keep wondering how I'm going to come up with bridesmaids because I don't really have any close girlfriends. I think I've come up with a solution: I just won't have one. :P Don't let your anxiety get the better of you!

  3. I love Toms! They make me so happy! I hope you're able to distress a little this week. Planning a wedding is stressful.

  4. Hang in there! Good things are coming your way :)